**disclaimer** This post is not written to be negative about my allergies. I am simply expressing my emotions for what I am feeling!
After 2 weeks of putting off writing a blog post, here I am! First off, I am so sorry for disappearing from my blog, my twitter and everything in between. I’ve had a pretty rough past 2 weeks and have had a pretty bad case of writers block. I like to think of myself as a fairly positive person. Through all my reactions, epipens, ambulance rides and everything else that comes with allergies, I think I’ve done a pretty good job at staying positive. Trust me, allergy awareness is still a big passion of mine. I’ve just lost my drive in the past week. I’m frustrated, tired and overwhelmed. It all began during the national anthem on Monday in my chemistry class when I began to feel the familiar symptoms of anaphylaxis. I’ve felt it all before so I knew when my lips were tingling, my heart was racing and my throat closing; an epipen was needed. I’m trying so hard to not be negative, but I guess not everyone can be positive 24/7. Eventually over time, giving yourself needles and being on the edge of life becomes both physically and mentally exhausting. I’m mad and angry and feeling sorry for myself. This is my senior year and when I should be focused on grades, prom and getting into university, I have the added stress of feeling sick daily and dodging allergens. With my schools new rule of food being allowed in hallways and other common areas, I have really struggled. Imagine everywhere you look, students eat on the floor, the benches, everywhere! Food on all surfaces! After my reaction Monday, I really did not want to return to school. During the days I took off to rest and heal, I contemplated whether to switch to online schooling… But I decided that this is my last year and I need to graduate with my friends and go to prom! I can’t let my allergies hold me back and I can’t hide from my fear. Switching to online schooling would be giving up on what I believe in. I am feeling better and starting to feel like myself again, but of course I have my ups and down. Allergies can be painful and frustrating but I just need to take them as a blessing to share my experiences and help others. (Now if I will just take my own advice)